ROHYX Chapter 629 : Remorse
Feeding Liu-er took over half a shichen1. Zaozao, on the other hand, never needed more than a quarter of an hour to finish her milk, and she always ate until she was full. But when she looked at Liu-er, Yuxi felt genuinely distressed.
Mama Qu urged her gently: "Madam, although Second Young Miss is weak, as long as she is properly cared for, she will be fine. If you continue to worry about her and harm your own health, who will take care of her?" The care she was referring to wasn't the kind Mama Lan gave but rather the kind a mother gave to her daughter.
Yuxi wiped away her tears and said, "I know." She had grown up without a mother and understood how hard it was for a motherless child. For the sake of her child, she had to recover as soon as possible.
When Shiliu saw Yuxi laying the baby flat on the bed, she quickly advised her, "Madam, Second Young Miss can't be laid flat like that. There needs to be a blanket under her."
Yuxi asked, "Have you done this before?"
Shiliu nodded. "Yes, this servant has done it." Each time she did it, Mama Lan watched over her. Mama Lan was worried she wouldn't be able to look after Liu-er thoroughly as she got older, so she had trained Shiliu to help her if she ever couldn't.
Yuxi said, "Then you teach me." Zaozao was healthy and didn't require much attention, but Liu-er was different—everything had to be done carefully.
Shiliu went to the side room and brought back a small pillow and a square blanket. She placed them on the bed and explained, "Madam, the Second Young Miss's head should rest on this pillow, and the little blanket should go underneath her."
Yuxi followed her instructions and placed the baby down accordingly.
Shiliu added, "Madam, if Second Young Miss spits up milk again, you must turn her head to the side." She then explained, "That way, the milk can flow out from the side and won't block her throat."
Yuxi nodded. "I understand. Tell me everything I need to watch out for." She'd always thought Zaozao was challenging to look after, but now she realised how wrong she'd been.
Shiliu told Yuxi all she knew.
After listening, Yuxi gently stroked Liu-er's little face. There's no medicine for regret in this world. If there were, she would never have met that female assassin just to save Han Jianye's face. Yuxi murmured to herself, "Liu-er, it's Mom's fault. But don't worry, Mom will make sure you grow up just as healthy as any other child." Although Liu-er was born weak, she could still be cured later. Sadly, the knowledge she had gained from her Momo was only half a bucket of water2. If only her Momo were still around, everything would have been better.
By evening, there was still no sign of Mama Lan. Giving birth could take a long time—it wasn't unusual for it to take a whole day. Yuxi kept Liu-er in her own room to look after her personally.
Zaozao was thrilled to see Liu-er. "Mom, Meimei3!" She usually didn't get to see her at night, so she was especially excited and tried to reach out to Liu-er.
Yuxi scooped her up and said with a smile, "Don't be rough—your Meimei3 will get hurt." Then she took Zaozao's hand and placed it gently on Liu-er's cheek. "Zaozao, you're the big sister now. When you grow up, you have to take good care of your Meimei3, understand?" Even if they found the best physician later, Liu-er could never be as healthy as Zaozao.
Zaozao didn't quite understand, but she was happy as she kept calling, "Meimei3, Meimei3!"
Mama Qu laughed, "Eldest Young Miss will surely make a great big sister. The two of them will get along beautifully."
Yuxi chuckled. "They were born from the same mother—how could they not be close?" Zaozao was not only cheerful, she was also generous. Whenever she got something nice, she'd share it with others. If she treated others so kindly, she would surely treat her own sister even better.
Mama Qu looked at Liu-er lying on the bed and smiled. "Madam, I must say, Second Young Miss is truly beautiful." She had delicate brows, almond-shaped eyes, and a small oval face—sure to grow into a beauty. Zaozao was perfect in every way—only her looks were a little lacking. Not that she was unattractive—just a little too strikingly masculine in her features.
Yuxi laughed, "This girl's nose is like mine, but nothing else." The shape of the face, the eyes, the eyebrows—none of them resembled her or Yun Qing.
Mama Qu remarked, "I remember Jing Wangfei4 had an oval face."
Yuxi nodded. "Only the shape of the face is similar. The rest isn't." Yuchen was exceptionally beautiful. She'd be happy if Liu-er grew up half as good-looking as Yuchen.
In the middle of the night, Yuxi faintly heard the sound of a baby whimpering. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Shiliu had already lit the lamp in the room.
Without needing any instructions, Shiliu rushed to the side room to call the runiang5. By the time the runiang arrived, Yuxi had already changed Liu-er's diaper and clothes.
"Mom…" The noise in the room had woken Zaozao.
Yuxi didn't have time to tend to Zaozao. "Be good, Zaozao, go back to sleep. Mom has to feed your Meimei3." She realised she should have let Zaozao sleep in her own room tonight.
But Zaozao kept calling out "Meimei3," her loud voice completely drowning out Liu-er's soft crying. Yuxi's head started to hurt, and she told Old Woman Yu, "Please take Zaozao to the second room to sleep!" But it was too late to move her—she was worried the child would catch a cold if taken out now.
Zaozao didn't want to go and began to wail loudly. Once she started, she could cry for half a shichen1 if not comforted—one of her more difficult traits.
Yuxi temporarily handed Liu-er to Shiliu and cradled Zaozao in her arms. "Don't cry, Zaozao..."
Zaozao sobbed, "Mom, Meimei3…" Her eyes were fixed on Yuxi as if to say she wouldn't stop until she saw her younger sister.
When Yuxi carried her to the bedside, she finally stopped crying. Yuxi kissed her fondly—what a sweet child, already so concerned for her sister at such a young age. She handed Zaozao back to Old Woman Yu and said, "Just hold her here for now."
That night, Liu-er woke up twice, and each feeding took nearly half a shichen1. As a result, Yuxi didn't sleep well and only woke up when the sky was fully bright the next morning.
After breakfast, Yuxi asked Mama Qu, "Has Chen Shi still not given birth yet?" It had already been a full day and night—if it hadn't happened yet, it wasn't a good sign!
Mama Qu shook her head, "I just asked Guard Xu. He said she still hasn't given birth yet." Difficult labour, if mishandled, could result in two lives being lost in one corpse6.
Yuxi said nothing more. Although she didn't like Chen Shi, she had never wished for her death. "Let's hope both mother and child come through safely."
That day, Yuxi did nothing else but personally tend to Liu-er. The last time Mama Lan was away, Zaozao fell ill. Yuxi didn't dare leave Liu-er with anyone else.
By the afternoon, after feeding Liu-er again, Yuxi said to Mama Qu, "No wonder Mama Lan has lost so much weight in the past month." Caring for the baby for a day and a night had already worn her down. Of course, this was also because Yuxi was now physically weak and not as strong as before.
Mama Qu urged, "Madam, if you're tired, go and have a rest. Shiliu and I will take care of Second Young Miss. She'll be fine." The last time Zaozao fell ill, it was because the maids hadn't taken proper care of her.
Yuxi hadn't napped that day, and given her frailty, she was truly exhausted by now. "I'll take a nap then. You must call me if anything happens."
Mama Qu smiled, "If Madam can't trust others, Madam can certainly trust me. I'll stay right by Second Young Miss's side without leaving, even for a moment."
That evening, by the time Yuxi was getting ready for bed, Mama Lan still hadn't returned. Yuxi figured that Chen Shi and her baby were probably in great danger. Before lying down, she reminded Mama Qu, "If Mama Lan comes back, please wake me up. I can't stay awake any longer."
That night, Liu-er woke up again in the middle of the night. Yuxi tried to get up, but Mama Qu stopped her. "Madam, let Shiliu and me take care of Second Young Miss. You need to lie down and rest." Seeing Yuxi's insistence, Mama Qu added, "If you get sick, what will happen to the Eldest and Second Young Miss?"
By this time, Yuxi was already looking pale. She honestly couldn't handle it anymore—the previous difficult labour had sapped her strength, and taking care of Liu-er personally had drained her mentally. Not one to fight her body's limits, she gave in. "Then please feed her. I won't get up." However, she would still watch from the side.
After the feeding, Yuxi quickly fell asleep.
Shiliu whispered to Mama Qu, "Madam really can't exhaust herself like this anymore. Mama, shall we move Second Young Miss to the side room for a while? We can bring her back after the next feeding."
Mama Qu hesitated.
Shiliu said, "Mama, the Second Young Miss will wake up in another two shichen1 for her next feeding. I'll stay awake and watch over her the whole time."
Shiliu tiptoed over to the bed and gently picked up Liu-er. Yuxi, who was fast asleep, didn't stir. Seeing this, Mama Qu stopped objecting.
Mama Bai whispered, "Let's give it a try."
More than two shichen1 later, after feeding Liu-er again, Shiliu quietly returned her to Yuxi's bed. Fortunately, Liu-er had been placed on the outer side of the bed—otherwise, it wouldn't have been so easy.
Mama Qu said, "Child, go get some sleep now. I'll keep watch over here."
Shiliu nodded—she needed to sleep while she could. With Mama Lan away, it was her duty to take good care of the Second Young Miss. She couldn't afford to be unwell.
When Yuxi woke up the next morning and saw that Liu-er wasn't beside her, she asked anxiously, "Where's Liu-er?" Her face changed dramatically. "Why didn't Liu-er wake up for a second feeding last night?" A sense of dread welled up in her chest.
Gancao, standing nearby, answered, "Madam, Mama Qu has taken Second Young Miss to the side room for feeding."
Yuxi was relieved to hear Liu-er was fine, but still confused. "But why didn't Liu-er wake up in the latter half of the night?" Liu-er was weak and didn't eat much—unlike Zaozao, who needed to be fed three times a night at that age.
Not daring to hide anything, Gancao explained that Shiliu had taken Liu-er to the side room in the latter half of the night. "Madam, Shiliu Jiejie7 stayed by Second Young Miss's side all the time—she never left her alone. Please don't punish her." Gancao was very close to Shiliu as if they were sisters.
Yuxi shook her head. "I won't blame her." Shiliu was doing it for her sake, and she had been so attentive to Liu-er—how could she be blamed?
Just as she had finished speaking, a little maid announced from outside, "Madam, Mama Lan is back."
Mama Lan was at the door but didn't dare come closer. "Madam, I smell of blood. I shouldn't come near you." Mama Lan was very particular—she believed the smell might offend Yuxi.
But Yuxi didn't care at that moment. She quickly asked, "How is Chen Shi and her baby? Are they all right?" She hoped for good news.
Mama Lan replied, "Don't worry, Madam. Both mother and child are safe."
Hearing this news, Yuxi finally felt at ease.
Footnotes Full List
- 时辰 shíchen= 2 hours. Half a shíchen is one hour. 2 shíchen means 4 hours.
- Someone with only superficial or incomplete knowledge or skills
- 妹妹 mèimei = younger sister
- 王wáng = king, 妃fēi = consort
- 乳娘 rǔniáng - (dated) wet nurse
- This idiom 一尸两命 (yī shī liǎng mìng = one corpse, two lives) refers to a tragic situation where the death of a pregnant woman also results in the death of her unborn child.
- 姐姐 jiějie = literally means elder sister, but in this context, it is a term of respect for an older or senior female.
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