MMIH Chapter 26 : If It's Not High, It's Not Hip (1)

That night, it was moonless and a bit windy. At the same time, the atmosphere inside the room was perfectly quiet.

Xin Mei lit an oil lamp, solemnly opened the small oilcloth bundle that Xin Xiong had given her. With the utmost zeal and devotion, she planned to learn the top-secret skills in strengthening the relationship between married couples.

The oilcloth bundle contained four worn-out books. The first one had an impressive cover titled ‘A Must-read Treasure Book For Young Married Women: Who Have Been Turned Over By The Red Waves’. She flipped open the book at random. She had a hard time reading it as the words were written in dense small print. She flipped through a few more pages and then casually tossed it aside.

The second book——‘The Art Of Bending A Man’ was also written in the dense, fine print.

The third book, titled ‘The History of Wanton In The Palace After 20 Years Of Being Favour: Empress Xiang Hui Personally Drew 24 Patterns of Cloud and Rain’, had fewer words and more pictures. After opening no more than two pages, she caught sight of an extremely rough-looking picture, which vaguely showed figures of a man and a woman. What exactly were they doing...Xin Mei guessed that they might be fighting. [T/N]

The fourth book was the thickest. Its hardcover was reddish with a light layer of gold powder and it was neatly tied with red silk. Although it was very old, once you got close to it, you could smell a burst of warmth but not excessive. The delicate fragrance was clear but not cold——it seemed to be a valuable item, which was completely different from the first three books. When she unravelled the red silk, what inside was a line written in very simple characters, ‘Orchids And Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection - Childe Qi’.

Xin Mei flipped over another page and saw a picture of a beautiful woman standing by a window. Her wrist was slightly unfolding and her eyes were full of amorous feelings. She had half of her clothes untied. Next to the picture was a poem written by Immortal Poet Ji Yue hundreds of years ago, which read, ‘Why do we meet each other, only to extinguish the candles and untied our clothes?’ [T/N]

The style of the painting was exquisite and euphemistic with the beauty's glossy pair of eyes smoothly painted. While her manner was demure and seductive as if she was about to get off the page. The inscriptions beside the painting were clear, meaningful and beautiful. The words the author wrote would not lose to any master calligraphers in the present world. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

Xin Mei stared at the picture for a long time, but she couldn’t help turning over to the next page. In the second picture, she could see the same beauty, but now she was being held by a man, with both of their red lips lightly touching.

In the third picture, the man's shirt was half opened and his beautiful muscles were slightly exposed.

The fourth picture...

The oil lamp was swaying because of the fine night wind blowing through the window seam. Xin Mei finished looking at the last painting in silence. Then, she silently closed the book. Afterwards, she continued to wash and dress without a word. Next, she blew the lamp, went to bed, and covered herself with the quilt.

After some time, a muffled dispirited yell came from inside the quilt.

...she, she, she hadn’t done anything nasty to Lu Qianqao before, had she? Should not have been, right? Couldn’t be, right?!

She rolled around in her quilt, wishing that her whole body could become a little cotton that could get in and never got out again.

In the middle of her rolling around, Xin Mei heard a few soft knocks on the window. She poked her head out of the quilt and asked cautiously, “Who is it?”

A letter slipped through a crack in the window and floated gently to the ground. Xin Mei jumped out of bed, hastily pushed open the window and saw a familiar little monster floating in mid-air. The little monster bowed respectfully before turning and flew away.

That little monster...seemed to be from the Imperial Mausoleum?

It seems like this story follows the Song Dynasty Mid-autumn Festival
Source | China Travel
Xin Mei picked up the letter and quickly opened it. Inside the letter, there was only one line of words which was written in a strong and powerful font: see you in Xinxie Manor, during the Mid-autumn Festival.

It was signed with the word ‘Qiao’.

...Lu Qianqiao would be coming during the Mid-autumn Festival?!

The letter in her hand fluttered back to the ground. Xin Mei was holding her head in her arms while panicking.

She didn’t want to see him!

No, it wasn’t like that...

She didn’t want to see him so soon!

It wasn’t really...

She... she...she really needed to do some mental preparation right now! She needed a considerable, completely, extremely special——she just needed to prepare herself mentally!

Xin Mei suddenly turned her head and stared at the books lying on the table. She ran quickly towards the table like she had been set on fire and grabbed the books. She tried to find a safe place to hide them. This kind of thing must never be seen by him! Absolutely never! This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

Under the bed——that wouldn’t work! It was an extremely common hiding place, so it would definitely be much easier for the books to be exposed!

In the wardrobe——not going to work either! If she was not careful while changing her clothes, they would mostly fall out.

Then, she caught sight of a dusty jewellery box on her dressing table. Her eyes brightened up at once. She immediately poured out all the jewellery that had not been used all year round and put the books in. After that, she put the jewellery on top of the books and put the lid on...yup, that was perfect.

After Xin Mei finally felt assured, she closed the window. She then went back to bed, saying “I didn’t see anything” a thousand times and fell asleep with her heart felt like a frisky monkey, mind like a cantering horse.

That whole night, she dreamed of a spring dream.


Mid-autumn Festival——the day when the moon was full and the day of the moon cake festival.

Xin Xiong, who had learned earlier that his son-in-law would be coming, was feeling so happy that his chin would not close properly. He had prepared a thousand kinds of moon cake, from round to square to irregularly shaped, and they were piled up into small hills.

“Little Mei, does Son-in-law like sweet or salty?”

Her old man was always afraid that he had not prepared enough moon cake or he didn’t make his son-in-law’s favourite, so, he was so busy till he was beaten head and scorched brow.

“Dad, he is your Son-in-law. He should be the one who fawned over you. What are you so worried about?”

“Wretch!” Xin Xiong cried profusely, “You have offended the Son-in-law, and he sent you back to your parents family so you can reflect on yourself! Do you want him to write a certificate of divorce during the moon cake festival so he can finally cast you off?!”

“ my opinion, a certificate of divorce and moon cake are completely two different things...“

“Ah, yes! The dishes for the dinner party! Little Mei, does Son-in-law like meat or vegetables?”

“Dad, how did Mom put up with you for so many years?”

“It must be meat, right? He is a General. Since he often fights, he must like to eat meat!”

Xin Xiong wrote down on a paper that was filled with a menu and handed it to the two senior brothers outside. He solemnly ordered, “Take out the 20-year-old wine stored in the cellar and exchange it with the new wine! Be extra careful though! A distinguished guest will be coming tonight!“ This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

Her father had gone crazy again.

Xin Mei shook her head and went out to get some air. Suddenly she saw Eldest Senior Brother running from the gate. He cried out in alarm, “They’re here! The General has come with many people!“

The Xinxie Manor was suddenly in a mess and all of sudden, Xin Mei was surrounded by a group of people. She was heading for the gate in a daze when she saw Liu Qianqiao jumped off from the back of Qiu Yue, followed by dozens of people——no, dozens of demons, all posing as human beings. They stood respectfully behind, each holding a spirit beast. Some spirit beasts carried small boxes, while some carried trunks, which were truly dazzling.

The way Lu Qianqiao looked today...erm, was special and different from usual. He seemed to have been deliberately dressed up. His old light black gown was replaced by white outerwear, while his long hair was tied at the back of his head meticulously. Only his eyes were covered with a black cloth, but he didn’t seem to be cut in a sorry figure. On the contrary, it added a little mystery to his jade tree in the wind appearance.

Was he afraid that his red eyes would scare her father?

He really underestimated what her father could handle. Not to mention the red eyes, even if he had eight hands, her father would only tweak his ears and scratch his cheeks. He would think it was a natural gift.

Xin Xiong welcomed him in while trembling. Before he could think of the first sentence to say, Lu Qianqiao had already walked forward steadily, bowed down, and his voice was calm as he said, “Junior Lu Qianqiao has appeared before Boss Xin.”

Xin Xiong tears streamed down.

He...he just called him Boss Xin, not his father-in-law.

He looked back bitterly at Xin Mei: Look! What a great Son-in-law! Why did you get so angry that he even refused to call your father his father-in-law?!

Xin Mei turned her head and pretended not to see. In her field of vision, she always felt that someone was looking at her. She quietly turned her eyes around and immediately spotted Lu Qianqiao's face. Although his eyes were covered with black cloth, it seemed that he could still see things clearly. He was facing her, with the corner of his lip slightly raised, revealing a smile. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

I’m here. That was what his expression had shown.

Xin Mei’s neck was burning. She bowed her head and coughed darkly. She could not greet him, hold his hand or say something like before. She lingered for a long time, but then she shook her head and turned away.

She also needed to prepare mentally...

When the news of the little devil star’s husband had arrived in Xinxie Manor, it was no different than a drop of water had dripped into the hot oil pan. Almost all the people in the village gathered outside the main hall and tried to look through cracks such as cracks on the door and windows.

When Eldest Senior Brother saw Lu Qianqiao still looking dignified even with a piece of black cloth on his face, he felt admiration and also envy, “My future wife will never choose such an attractive young man!”

Second Senior Brother with his nefarious charming smile said, “Generally, you will also lose some to me.”

Xin Mei sat under the window with her knees in her arms and she was too lazy to speak. She was just thinking hard about how to prepare herself mentally.

In the main hall, Lu Qianqiao suddenly said, “Boss Xin, today this junior has brought along betrothal gifts. This junior hopes Boss Xin will kindly accept them.”

The monsters outside the door sent in a pile of trunks, small boxes, and millet pancakes. There were also silver coins, antique calligraphy and painting. Furthermore, there were even thin silk and satin silk——an extremely standard and generous betrothal gift. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

Millet pancake or bǐng zi
Source | Baike Baidu

Silver coins or yín liǎng
Source | Baike Baidu
In a split second, Xin Xiong turned his tears into laughter as he stammered, “At this moment, why is son-in-law still acting so polite...we, we have long been a family! It’s just that my little girl is really stubborn which has made Son-in-law worry so much…I hope Son-in-law won’t bicker so much with her.“

Lu Qianqiao smiled and said, “This junior intends to marry Miss Xin as his wife. He will only have her for his whole life, and he will stand by her. Can Boss Xin help him accomplish his wish?”

Xin Xiong nodded vigorously, “It’s already done! Absolutely!“

...except, it was kind of strange though since he was already his son-in-law. What else should he accomplish?

Lu Qianqiao got up and bowed down again. This time he finally changed his tune, “Qianqao thanks father-in-law.”

Xin Xiong was too happy that night that he carelessly got himself completely drunk. He had to be carried back to his room. While Xin Mei had to personally send Lu Qianqiao back to his guest room.

A full moon hung above her head, making her surroundings as bright as snow and looking so clear. The corridor she used to walk in the past felt quite long today. A small wind blowing brought a chill on Xin Mei’s face. She touched her cheeks for fear of messing things up. She only drank two small glasses of wine today, but her body was still burning and her skin felt hot.

“Xin Mei.”

Lu Qianqiao whispered from behind her. She stopped her steps.

She turned around feeling astounded, only to find that he had taken off the black cloth covering his eyes, revealing a pair of red translucent eyes, which looked absolutely terrifying at night. She quickly looked around and ran over to cover them with her hands, “Be careful or someone will see you!”

He took her wrist and put it down. “Don’t you like it?” he asked.

“You don’t want to be discovered, do you?” She pouted, “You think my father is too fragile!”

He shook his head, “Not that. The reason I came is to propose marriage...don’t you like it?”

“No, I like it very much.” She smiled happily, “Lu Qianqao, I like it very much! And you were so rich! I thought you were a penniless poor general!”

He also smiled as he pulled her by her shoulder into his arms, “Since I’m a general, how can I be penniless?”

...he just pulled her into his arms! Mental preparation, mental preparation!

Xin Mei’s mind instantly recalled the numerous pictures from Orchids And Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection. She suddenly turned to stone as she looked up just to laugh hollowly. She had to prepare mentally! She had to do it quickly!

“What’s the matter?” Lu Qianqiao noticed something strange about her so he couldn’t help wondering.

Xin Mei thought and thought. After thinking for so long, she finally opened her mouth, “Umm, Lu fact, I am a person who is rather reserved, noble and virtuous, you can say those right?”


He was silent. At this time, silence was indeed golden.

“Just say yes!” she jumped about with anxiety.

He was still silent. His hand was on his chin as if to suppress a smile and no matter what, he would not answer her.

“Humph! I’m going back to my room!”

She pouted in anger and turned to leave.

He grabbed her wrist. When their skin touched, she felt as if she had been burned, so she shook his hand off.

...oh, no.

Xin Mei did not dare to look back at his expression and shouted, “Go to sleep!”

After saying this, she started to run. She had run no more than a few steps before she could hear him caught up with her. She jumped up with a fright and her mind was full of him being behind her that she didn’t have time to choose her way. She punched a hole in the wall of the corridor and went on running. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

The usually peaceful night in Xinxie Manor became very unpeaceful that night. From time to time there would be loud sounds like ‘bang’ and ‘crash’. Everyone pretended not to hear them with a tacit understanding, that absence had made the newlywed heart grow fonder! Everyone could understand that.

After smashing four walls in a row, Xin Mei finally stumbled over a tree root. She staggered forward and crashed into a tree.

In the next moment, both her wrists were pinned down, and Lu Qianqao came up close to her——but, why?! Why did he follow her from behind! Her face was currently hurting from being pressed against a tree!

The author has something to say: I feel so sleepy. It is already 2 in the morning when I finally finish writing this chapter.

I will be going to Yangzhou on the 5th and return on the 8th, so that is why there won't be any new chapter within those days. On the 9th, it will be my recovery day, um, that’s right, that day, I will still be on leave.

Everyone should be happy to read this new chapter today ~ of course, it is better to go out and play more ~ eat more and sleep more, exercise your body and defend the motherland! Crawl away…

Noob Translator's Musing

Now that Xin Mei knew what her previous intimate actions meant to Lu Qianqao, will she stop touching him? I like it when she was 'innocently' touching Lu Qianqao while Lu Qianqao was thinking of something else more intimately.

And now I knew where Xin Mei got some of her quirks——her father. Like father, like daughter.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own the raw novels, images, and videos on this site. But I do own the translations. If you're interested in translating it to other languages, no problem with me. Just link to this site.

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16 Jul 24
🦊 : I've updated 2 new chapters for ROHYX on my Ko-fi page: Chapters 527 & 528. Those who have sponsored me some teas, you have 30 days of access to all the chapters available there. 😊