MMIH Chapter 27 : If It's Not High, It's Not Hip (2)

A hand stretched over and without any explanation, it was pressing on Xin Mei’s forehead. Xin Mei could feel her little heart beat rapidly like it would pop out from her chest, while her legs suddenly went soft as she started to panic.

What is he going to do?! He is not going to do it here, is he? Doing it here...isn't that convenient! Based on the books, shouldn’t it be done beautifully on top of a bed, where you’ll shed one of mine and I'll shed one of you?

“You have a fever.”

Lu Qianqiao’s voice sounded behind her ears. It also gave out a warm breath that made her have goosebumps.

What did he say? She was too agitated to even hear him clearly now...

“You shouldn’t have drunk too much. Let’s go, I’ll take you back to your room.”

Without any explanation, his other hand grabbed the back of her vest, lifted her up, and then, he carried her under his arm. She was carried away like she was a bag of rice.

Strangely, shouldn’t he be holding her in his arms, or gave her a piggyback? So, what with this situation where she was carried like a rice bag?!

Xin Mei struggled to lift her neck to look up at him, “Lu Qianqiao, it's going to be hard for you to carry me like this.”

His expression was extremely calm, not at all tender, and his voice was very smooth, “Drinking till your drunk will only make you feel unwell. Hold on for a while. You will arrive there soon.” This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

She was stunned, “I am not drunk!”

He didn’t respond. Well, drunk people never admit that they were actually drunk.

“I’m really not!”

She just wanted to make herself mentally prepared. Why was this so difficult for her?

As soon as he raised his arm, his posture finally changed from carrying a rice bag under his arm to shouldering a rice bag. Xin Mei could not help but silently shed two lines of sad tears. It turned out that in his heart, she was the same as a bag of rice.

Xin Mei’s courtyard was next door to Xin Xiong. It was small and exquisite. The courtyard was full of plum blossoms because Xin Xiong had planted them according to the character méi () in his daughter’s name. Originally, he named his daughter Xin Mei (xin=辛, méi=), all because there was a méi () character in his wife’s name. He and his wife were a married couple that was very much in love with each other. Later, he invited Immortal Yuqing to tell his daughter's fortune. He was being told that his daughter was hit by a shortage of water in her five elements, so, he changed the character méi () to méi (). Listening to the advice of Immortal Yuqing, he also planted a lot of plum blossoms in front of his daughter’s courtyard. The plum blossoms would take advantage of her stinginess over her virtuousness. It was said that they would also bring a great benefit to her marriage in the future.

Yet, whether they would actually give her any benefit or something like it, she still hadn’t seen any of it!

Xin Mei, who had tears streaming down her face, was carried into her room by Liu Qianqiao. Then, she was tied up with his bewitching rope without any trouble from her. She was forced to lie on her bed which made her grimaced, “Liu Qianqiao! You tied me up again!“

He completely ignored her. He just twisted his handkerchief in the cold water, came over to help her head up, and wiped her face with his other hand. His movements were gentle and awkward as if he was afraid of hurting her.

How could this man do something like this? Every time, he always acted very considerately and fond of her from the outside, but other than all he did was always wrong. Would any husband in the world tie his wife with a bewitching rope? He was the one who held her captive in the first place, and later, he regretted their marriage and turned her, his bride, into an abandoned woman on her wedding day. Then, he went to great lengths just to propose marriage, saying that he wanted to be a real husband and wife this time around. Now, he said she was drunk, and it was still him who tied her with his bewitching rope—

He, he, he...really had such a man’s heart, like a needle at the bottom of the sea!

Who knew that being husband and wife was more difficult than having a child.

Seeing that she did not move nor speak, but intensely stared at him with her round eyes, Lu Qianqao touched her forehead again. This time it was not burning anymore, as her skin was still wet and a slight chill. He was somewhat reluctant to give up the feeling he got from the touch as he gently stroked his fingers there for a moment longer, then slowly withdrew.

“...are you still feeling unwell now?” he asked in a low voice.

She gave out a disdainful hum and refused to answer.

Lu Qianqao hesitated for a moment, “You’re acting very weird today.”

“You’re the weird one!” She was very angry, “Liu Qianqiao, I hate you! Today, no, from now on——I'll hate you from the sole of my feet!“

He didn’t pay attention to her statements. He just tucked her in the quilt, “You’re so drunk. Just go to sleep.”

"You still tie me up, sleep my ass!"

He paused for a moment, feeling worried, “Xin Mei, if you keep on doing what you were doing outside just now, Xinxie Manor will be completely gone.”

She pursed her mouth so much that an oil bottle could hang it, “You’re talking nonsense! I, not...I just...that, what...“

“What?” He was so confused.

“Nothing! Let go of me!“

He quickly took away the bewitching rope and Xin Mei immediately jumped out of bed, then turned her back without looking at him. “I’m not going to marry you, so leave!”

Lu Qianqiao paid no attention to her childishness, but looked around and smiled slightly, “So, this is the room where you live.”

His knowledge of women’s rooms was limited to Li Chaoyang. She was a high-ranking lady and a widow in the War Demon Clan. Her room was cold and simple, with one wall full of all kinds of magic weapons. There was no softness and flattery in her room.

Xin Mei’s room was different.

In front of the delicate full moon-shaped window, hung sunset glow coloured fine gauze, and a pear flower yellow wood cabinet was littered with several books. There were no beautiful luxurious vases nor corals. The cupboard was full of wooden made figurines, colourful clay dolls, odd-looking toys and so on——obviously, this was not the standard lady’s boudoir described in the book, but it was full of Xin Mei’s colours.

On top of a cupboard at the head of the bed, there were two familiar figurines, which were made by him, the heavenly maiden daren and general daren. One was extremely colourful and magnificent, while the other was majestic and exalted with a long sword. The paint on the faces of the two dolls had already fallen off, which was due to frequent touching and playing.

Lu Qianqiao picked up the general daren. There was a line embroidered on the doll. It seemed like that girl had found someone to get it done later. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

That line of words, alas, that line of words—‘General of Riding Whores (嫖妓) In His Mighty Splendid Attire’.

His eyebrow shook twice, then he turned his head to ask her, “General of Riding Whores (嫖妓)?”

Xin Mei grabbed it and held it in her arms like a baby, “It’s definitely not you! You better walk away! Don’t touch my things!“

Lu Qianqiao didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, “Xin Mei, it’s General of Flying Calvary (是骠), not Riding Whores (嫖妓)...”

“Humph, I won’t listen!”

He smiled helplessly and turned to look at the other side of the room. There was a small dressing table. As expected, it was covered with a thin layer of dust. He estimated that the child rarely used it since she was still small. He picked up a box of rouge and gently opened it——well, it had turned into a dried rouge.

He then took a bottle of osmanthus hair oil and opened it——well, it had completely dried out.

When he opened the powder box next——well, a few of the powder sticks had split into small pieces.

Fried Dough Twist / Ma Hua
Source | Ryuka [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Xin Mei, who was behind him, tugged at his sleeve, and twisted it into a fried dough twist, “Not here! Don’t look at the things on this side!“

When Lu Qianqiao saw her panicked, he patted her forehead and said, “Okay, then I’m leaving. You go to bed early.”

He opened the door and left.

Xin Mei heaved a sigh of relief and quickly picked up the precious jewellery box, poured out all the jewellery inside, grabbed the books and looked around to find a more appropriate place to hide them.

Suddenly the door was pushed open again. Lu Qianqao stepped in and said, “Xin Mei, the black cloth that I used to cover my eyes...“

She panicked and the books in her hand scattered all over the place. She didn’t care about the rest, but ‘Orchids And Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection’ was a picture album, not a thread-bound book. At that time, the papers inside the picture album flew all over the floor. The picture called ‘Guanyin Sitting on Lotus’ fell at Lu Qianqiao’s feet and was picked up by him when he bent down.

Xin Mei cried out in desperation, “Look at me! Don’t look at anything else!“

He was stupefied. He looked up at her quietly and turned a blind eye to the scattered papers. Speaking of it, this piece of paper in his hand was delicate and smooth. It was also filled with a faint fragrance...this fragrance, he seemed to have smelled it somewhere...

“Very good. Now, put the paper in your hand slowly on the table and turn around...”

She was fidgeting across the room, blushing like a lighter version of the colour of blood while sweating profusely.

Lu Qianqiao was absorbed in catching the faint fragrance of deja vu. Suddenly he remembered something and frowned, “The fragrance in this picture album is not right.”

When he was young, he led the troops to drive away from the enemy. How proud he was. There were also malicious people from the enemy country who tried to use beauty to lure him into a trap. The fragrance on the picture book was exactly the same as the spring fragrance that was lit in his house that day——the Phoenix Cream. A cun of Phoenix Cream was equivalent to five liang of silver, which was different from those tiger-like spring medicine. Phoenix Cream could even be said to be good medicine, as it did not make people impetuous or unable to restrain themselves, nor did it have any staying power. Its medicinal properties were only intended to make use of the aroma to let people fantasize. As a result, they were often hard to detect. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at

In those days, when he noticed something was wrong, he immediately destroyed the Phoenix Cream inside the incense burner. Unexpectedly, he once again smelled the sentimental delicate fragrance today.

“Xin Mei, this picture album...”

Once he said that, he bowed his head and carefully looked. What he saw was four characters written like dragons flying and phoenixes dancing——

‘Guanyin Sitting On Lotus’

And the picture next to the word…

Liu Qianqiao froze.

qióng huā
Source | Find China Guide
The author has something to say: I’m back. Yangzhou is quite nice. It has good scenery, cheap prices and delicious foods. I recommend you to go there when you have holidays. Especially in April and May, where you can still see qióng huā~

Noob Translator's Musing

I fell asleep before I could post this chapter yesterday. (シ_ _)シ Sorry~!

Edit: Thanks to ShySassy Girl for the translation of piáo jì. I've changed it from Whorehouse to Riding Whores. Thank you very much!


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16 Jul 24
🦊 : I've updated 2 new chapters for ROHYX on my Ko-fi page: Chapters 527 & 528. Those who have sponsored me some teas, you have 30 days of access to all the chapters available there. 😊